An epiphany
by hurotias
Summary: During a mission for the sound, Sasuke witnesses something that shakes his beliefs in what truly matters.


Title: An epiphany

Ranking: I am not a fan of this system, nor am I the best judge of violence there is, so let's say…T?

Author note, warning, explanations and whatever: I am French, and I am definitely not the best you could find in my sweet old country when it comes to writing in your beautiful language. So, I beg you to be as merciful as one decent man can be when his dear mother tongue is shamelessly slaughtered by some barbaric frog. And if you could be nice enough to tell me what horrid mistakes I made, I am sure that some divine intervention would reward you for that 

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, if I did Naruto would be less dumb, and Kurenai would be naked. And I guess some friend of mine would force me to put Kakashi and Iruka together.

Special thanks: Isolde1, she is a life saver(and my beta). And I love her for that, and for plenty of other things. And if you have the patience to put up with my story, go read what she wrote 

"_blabla"_: thoughts

Animals, the lot of them, Sasuke thoughtas he made his way through the pack of dancers who were (according to him, anyway) pathetically trying to synchronise the ludicrous swings of their asses with the beat of the song.

The dance floor was crowded. Sasuke could barely pick out his target, surrounded as he was by his bodyguards. They looked as relaxed as one of their profession could possibly be. Within that throng, it would be impossible for an assassin to get to him without being noticed miles away. Even if by some miracle he managed to pull it off, the killer would find himself unable to get away.

Sasuke smirked at the thought. Here they were, assuming he would have the faintest hesitation to blow up all these insignificant wretches into oblivion. A year ago, maybe six month ago, he would have needed Orochimaru to describe him all the horrendous crimes the bastard he was going to murder had committed. He would have needed to make sure the target had deserved it, and with any luck, his record would have mentioned the killing of children. Countless times, it had allowed Sasuke to picture Itachi's face in the place of the anonymous thing he had to murder. It had felt good to slay them then. Better than not feeling anything, he used to think.

But now, he understood. He was not supposed to feel _anything_. At least when it didn't concern Itachi. Nowadays, he couldn't care less if the guy was a saint or a criminal, if he had a family, if his life was worth sparing. Nothing was worth it, after all.

So, this task** --**ridiculously difficult for any-standard, regulation-bound Anbu**-- **would just be** a snap** for him. He would mold enough chakra to burn them all to cinders with a well-aimed Goukakyuu no jutsu, then go back to Orochimaru and resume his training.

Easy.

This fucking music was loud. Damn, but it was annoying! Annoying...one of the words he almost never said or thought any more, he didn't understand why, but it made him uneasy. It made him feel empty, as if he needed to remember something important but was not able to. Bah, it usually went away with after a few kills. So it would not last, he reassured himself.

Time to make everything disappear... His hands started to form the hands seals he needed to summon the enormous amount of chakra the jutsu would require to blow up the entire night club...

And then he saw them. They were nothing special, he thought at first. They were standing just in front of him, they would be the first to die, he mused. Sadly for them, it always took about a millisecond for the chakra to burn completely, so their skin would peel off for an instant before their death. It was ironic, that it would be them who would suffer the most, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore.

But there was something _different_ about them. He _felt_ something when he was looking at them, moving in harmony together. His eyes turned red, but even the pride of the Uchiha clan was unable do decipher this kind of symbiosis. It was almost like they were glowing; they definitely looked like they were something more...Yes, they looked like they were human, not just cold meat.

And they made him_ feel_… How dare they make him feel something From deep within, so deep he had finally managed to forget it all,feelings unravelled, overwhelming, almost stunning in their sheer intensity.

"_I had managed not to be some weakling. I had managed the impossible, something I could be proud of: the perfect numbness, and two stupid, love-sick losers are destroying it without even trying"._ Fury rose in his throat like bile, hot and foul. Chakra concentrated in his eyes, sharp pain exploding behind his eyelids in rythmn with his quickened heartbeat.

It would be just his luck if one of the bodyguards detected his chakra signature, but there was nothing he could do about it. He was loosing control. The white hot fury was winding itself with each passing second, his red eyes trained on the couple. They were still dancing – beautiful, eerie, untouchable. They were sixteen if they were a day Just like him, and yet not. They were so carefree…

At this point, Sasuke was ready to eviscerate them with his bare hand, just to protect his sanity from the onslaught of emotions. And already rage was evaporating, replaced by something far worse: a blend of contempt, jealousy and unadulterated despair.

They were the living reminder of all he had lost nine years ago. They were everything he yearned forbut had constantly denied himself, in order to be strong. Oh, how badlyhe hadwanted it in all these years in Konoha! How much he had wanted to just drop the facade and be over with it! And maybe it had been the true reason why he had deserted, after all. Sasuke knew, deep inside, that if he had stayed, he would have been happy, full of life, he would have been given what these two wretches had….

But he would have lost himself! He would have forfeited his revenge. Never betray your comrades, Kakashi had said. Could he betray his own family? Would he?

"_Shit, am I losing my mind? Listen to yourself, Uchiha, you sound like an emotional moron! Get a grip, you have a job to do!"_

His hands started again flashing through the series of hand seals, it was it this time...And then the girl looked at him, with an undecipherable look…Not pity, not curiosity, not even anxiety, just something that looked awfully like… acceptance?

He didn't feel himself move with his usual hair-rising speed, he just looked as his body stunned them both, moved theirunconscious bodies  
to safety, and then finally burned the place down.

Regaining some sort of control over his actions, he walked out of the night club. He didn't even spare a glance at the two lovers. Flames began licking up at the walls, casting fantastic shadows on the corpse-strewn dance floor. Dark tendrils of smoke rose up as the pungent stench of roasting human flesh slowly pervaded the room.

But now, every night, when he should be busy sleeping after surviving Orochimaru's deadly training, he saw himself back in this wretched night-club, staring at two ordinary people, and not killing them. Served him right, he should have known better than that, he repeated himself. But as expert as he was in the subtle art of lying to oneself, this time he could no longer deny it.

The emptiness in him had faded...and it was annoying.

A/N: Tell me what you think, please?


End file.
